#RelationshipGoals
This one will be a stand-alone. Join me in taking a look at how we perceive the "perfect relationship" and what the reality of that perception is.
What can be said about this clever hashtag? Well, in a concise manner of speaking, I can say this. The perfect relationship doesn’t exist; it never has and never will!
Our awareness of this fact must rise to the surface in any relationship, long-term or otherwise. Because the problem arises when we project our picture of what the relationship is supposed to look like onto our spouse, and our significant other projects their picture of what the relationship is supposed to look like onto us. That’s dangerous ground right there!
Speaking from experience, one of the most critical aspects of a relationship, especially a marriage. Right out in front is communication; without that, everything falls into itself like a house of cards, without the guarantee of being worked out, I might add. We must realize that sometimes things never get resolved; sometimes, there are no do-overs! And we’re left with the emotional baggage of it all. I was saved by the grace and forgiveness of an almighty God and numerous people praying for myself and my wife’s marriage. But that’s not because of anything I did; it was much more than that. However, that’s for another time. I will say this last bit on that principle. We must be willing and ready to admit the one thing people hate, especially guys. We did something inherently wrong. And even more so that we do something to change that fact. But enough about that.
Here are some things that can be done or acted upon to foster a healthy relationship with our spouse/significant other:
”Go on adventures: Always sticking to the same routine can make anyone feel stuck in a rut. Make it a habit to regularly seek out fresh, novel experiences, such as going on vacation or trying out a new restaurant in town. Studies have found that going out on exciting dates can help couples feel closer and more in love.”
This is a very attainable goal. Granted, in some cases, it’ll cost you a few bucks. But there are many accessible and cost-effective things you can do out there, wherever “there” is.
For instance, one personal experience was checking out a new Mexican place Near me and my wife’s house.
It was, by outside appearances, nothing special. But it wasn’t the appearance that got us there. In fact, after having been inside and dealt with the wait staff and ordering food there.
The food was delicious and featured authentic Mexican-styled entrees, and the staff was over and above hospitable, with relatively quick service. And reasonable prices for the quantities that were served. But even more than that, it was the experience of being somewhere new like that with my wife! Getting to explore without the kids was a real treat. It’s times like that, that fond memories are created. Now it doesn’t have to cost you a dime to go on a worthwhile adventure. Sure, maybe the cost of gas, but that aside you could pack a lunch, go on a hike and have a picnic at the top of the mountain or a relative area to the top.
The point I’m trying to make here is that it’s not about the destination; it’s about the person on the journey with you.
After all, memories are not only made on anniversaries and milestone moments. It’s the little things that happen along the way in life. It’s meaningful conversations between you and your spouse at 11 p.m., or if you have kids after they’re in bed, It’s car rides dropping your significant other off at work; it’s talking to one another while dinner is cooking. But at the end of the day, it boils back down to communication.
Now here’s one that doesn’t cost a dime, literally! It’s just the mental fortitude to reminisce:
”Remember your partner's positive qualities: Regularly remind yourself about the things you love and appreciate about your partner. Remember some of the feelings and emotions you felt when you first started dating. While those initial feelings of passion tend to temper with time, remembering those moments can help you better appreciate your partner and your relationship.”
Newlywed Advice
Immediately my brain darts to some of the emotions and memories we had and created during the timeframe we were dating before I proposed to her.
There was quite the elation to it all. But we really worked to keep it above board. Not because we felt some almighty god in the heavens would come down and smite us but because we both value the sanctity of keeping our bodies holy and honoring God in our commitment to each other. Now there are factors down the road of our marriage and relationship that were compounded, and We hit a snag in the road. But we’re back at it! With a fresh perspective on our marriage and renewed vigor.
Again I digress,
Considering the heading, what comes to mind? I’d say we’ve all seen those picture-perfect moments where we think to ourselves if only I could have a relationship like that. Or even quotes and testimonials from people, and we glaze over the fact that they had to go through hell and back to get to the point they’re at, at the time of that quote or testimonial. See, we often want to skip the process and go straight to the outcome, but that’s not where the beauty is… the beauty is in the process! It’s where you figure out and lay the foundation for that “picture-perfect testimonial.”
It’s the place where tears are shed, Joy is conceptualized, and doors are slammed! Without those factors, there is no “picture-perfect testimonial.”
They say Life is what happens when you’re making plans, and I’m inclined to believe that notion.
Some of the sweetest moments weren’t “Milestones” or “vacations”
or even birthdays! They were simple pockets of time embracing the moment and taking in joyous conversations.
Let’s go back to the hashtag for a little bit, though.
#RelationshipGoals
”Throughout history, certain couples have captured the public imagination. Antony and Cleopatra had a suicide pact, Napoleon and Joséphine had passionate letters, and Angie and Brad had all those kids. Yet while once-in-a-century romantic relationships have always been held up as unrealistic ideals, thanks to the internet, thousands of seemingly ordinary couples are now idolised every day. At the time of writing, the hashtag #RelationshipGoals has been posted on Instagram 11 million times.
For more than a decade, “#RelationshipGoals” has been a quick, easy way to signal approval of a relationship. On YouTube, Instagram, and Tumblr, fans of internet-famous couples will uphold them as “goals” and follow their every move. But what’s it like when the internet worships your relationship? How does it feel when thousands of people think you’re perfect? And what do you do when fans start noticing that you haven’t kissed your girlfriend on camera in a while?”
This was an interesting article to read and alludes to the exact P.O.V. that needs to be painted when discussing this whole subject.
The reality of Relationship Goals